Monday, January 14, 2013

2012:Lessons Learned

This might seem a very unsuitable post to be called a 2012 review post because we are already 2 weeks in 2013. Wow, I gotta say I have not really been in good shape since June last year. Lessons and info overloaded if you may say. Oh, and I think I know why it takes me a lot of effort to even write/type a blog post. It is because I am not an avid reader. I just remember the thing my boss during my internship said ( I did my intern for a month at this online magazine company Fooyoh!) that to be a good writer you need to read a lot. I am guilty as charged; I read mostly comics growing up. Only lately I started reading motivational books, those that share stories to become a good people person. Dale Carnegie, Anthony Robbins, Maxwell, Zuhairi Nopiah are the names I got to know ever since.

You see my point, I get distracted when I should have been reviewing my 2012 experiences. Okay. So, lessons learned, what are they?
(oh, because I did not prepare for this blog post earlier so I will end up ke sana ke sini with my words. Just bear with me, future me LOL)

Financial planning. I have learned a lot about it last year. I joined the Business Opportunity Presentation organised by (now my agency) SIXMA, invited by my insurance agent the ever caring and kind brother, Mr. Aizal Syazren. It was an eye opening really. All this while, I already know about financial planning but I did not really put the knowledge I have to good use. It felt good really knowing this bunch of always happy, looking-at-the-bright-side kind of people. I thought they only existed in my dream. As I seem to be more interested in joining this new world of insurance, I soon learned another thing.

That, sometimes things do not really go out as you plan in to be. Maybe it was me, maybe it was the timing, maybe maybe maybe maybe but I had my first heartbreak. Well, you can say that this is also some sort of punishment because I used to ridicule people with heartbreak, saying 'Come on, life is not over yet bradaah!', 'Why are you getting yourself drunk over a chick?' So, I got a taste of it and no, not the best thing ever. So, all those friendzoned people, you think that is worse? You should be grateful that your heart is still as clean, and as smooth as a baby's skin (well, heart is made up of cardiac muscles and I have no idea if those muscles are smooth or not but yeah, you get what I mean when I say heart, I don't mean the organ responsible to pump the blood to your whole body system). I appeared to be happy on the outside but my ex-colleagues noticed I acted different. Ly. Differently. LOL Okay, and what worse? Usually people who broke up they don't come in contact-text,phone,facebook but we did and I guess that was not the I needed even though I wanted it (stupido me) Oh, okay. Anyway, yeah so plan did not work out. Gotta scrap it oh wait let's just hang on to it and see if we are gonna work out to be together eventually and that's what happened because I gave my heart, all of it in a relationship. That's lesson number 3.

In the past when I was still in the relationship, I heard or came across this saying that you should not give your all but just enough in a relationship. I would just shut off my brain and say to myself, screw that, you are committed so you should give all. BZZZZZ! You only do that if you are husband and wife apparently. This whole thing really affected me that I somehow made some stupid, rash decisions. I understand that dumpers have their own problems too and will feel bad for making this decision to break up but I for all the dumped ones, would like to stress it here that we feel it more, thousand times more if not millions  life is where you learn to come out stronger and I was fine working as an insurance agent with my newly found buddies but something else took place last year that gave me the opportunity to learn a thing or two about the unseen world, and that gave me a lot of opportunities to strengthen my faith in Allah. I learned that this world ain't just about me and you only. I learned how powerful the faith and the deeds we sincerely do in the name of Allah can be.I learned that Allah has never abandoned us but it was us who abandoned Him. I am not a good man but I am trying to be one.

As much as my heart is still aching, I believe there is an explanation to this but only He knows. Sounds like I have pretty much moved on =P I am alright now just that I got overexcited talking about the past LOL sorry if any offence given.

With all that said, I still am struggling for a fresh start. Maybe I need to get busier. Oh, did I tell you guys I gained heaps of weight? It all started after my trip to Universal Studio Singapore. I guess I was pretty shocked and affected by her request to break up but then she retracted it. (I won't go into details about this) So the first thing I did when I reached Balakong Jaya, cleared two mini buckets of KFC. No gym that week. The following week Domino's, 2 large. No gym as well.And more money wasted on mamak's fried chicken and rice. Heaps of rice. It didn't take quite long for Ms.Ng to pop this question "Did you gain weight?" and my answer dalam hati LOL "Nope, I am gaining weight" I was on self-destruct mode and I was looking for an escape I guess. Even though I kept saying oh I am gonna get engaged this year but deep down I guess I already know it was a war I could not win because I said so. Come to think of it, maybe all that late night heavy supper no gym routine was to prepare me for the heartbreak. Guys like me who naively gave their all would take ages to heal I guess so perhaps I had saved 6 months of heartbreak.

Now there's treadmill at home, the stationary bike too. Been putting them to good use. Let's hope I can control my food intake. It is gonna be hard after a year of crazy, uncontrolled diet but I gotta hang in there. I gotta do this for myself. Every man for himself (or herself). All this while I have put others first I guess I need to think about myself for once. And also for others la, you still gotta be a responsible citizen what.

Hmm, I don't know what I would get out of this post. Peace? I doubt it. No more heartbreak? Dream on. I just hope it will serve its purpose when the future Danial reads this and ends up on the floor laughing at this.

Press: Any advice to those who are not married and in LDR?
Danial: Dont go for LDR if you are not sure about it. if you are not up to adventures. Just dont. Spare the other party the heartbreak.


Have a good day, Danial. Wherever you might be when you read this. Oh and to those who are reading this too. (if there's any)


chanz said...

I've experienced LDR and it did suck....zz

btw, i've put your blog in my list!

Danial Ikhwan Jaafar said...

yeah, sucks if only one side committed..huhuhu

thanks yeah! your blog dah lama di sini. LOL XD


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