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Monday, November 16, 2015

What Comes Free Not Really Valuable?

"Kucing tu tak makan makanan kucing jenama Furskist itu. Langsung tak diusik. Pening aku. Beli mahal-mahal."

"Habis tu, apa si Labu tu makan? Gempal elok je. Bulu pon, fuhhh, gebu. Gerammm!"

"Kau nampak tu, dalam longkang? Anak ayam, anak burung, biawak kecik-kecik."

"Haaa??"

"Ye la. Benda percuma orang bagi, elok-elok, tak nak. Nak jugak masuk dalam hutan semak depan rumah ni, berkubang dengan babi hutan tu."

Labu (bukan gambar sebenar) sedang berehat.


"Kah kah kah kah!!"

"Gelak pulak kau."

"Hahaha, broo! Ada makhluk, benda yang bergolek datang percuma, elok mahal molek macam mana sekalipun, tak dipandang langsung. Nak juga berpeluh susah payah."

"Baru puas hidup kalau ada cabaran...mungkin? Daripada disuap begitu hari-hari. Macam bagi kerbau gemuk sebelum kau sembelih."

"Kerbau?"

"Peribahasa Korea tak salah aku....
Tengok Running Man."

"Oh...."


...yep...

Love Can't Feed You, Sweetie.

Danny had been circling the area for almost an hour. Okay, maybe not that long but it sure felt that way to him, trying his best to park his car as close as possible to the shop. He was about to give up when he saw the brake light of an old car lit up. After months back in Malaysia, Danny had slipped back to his Malaysian ways and one of them is to park your car as close as you can to your destination. Some double park but Danny, at least had pledged not to follow suit as he still had the sense in him to consider other drivers.

Car parked, Danny headed to the shop. It, was a flower shop. a florist. Would be his first time buying flowers, in real life. He bought flowers online for his mother on her birthday, but never been, physically, to a florist to buy one of those bouquets. And once he was there, he just stood there, clueless.

"Okay, bro..what now?" he asked himself.


"Yes, sir, want to buy flowers?"

A cute, petite lady, perhaps, one of the staffs, asked. That red shirt she wore made her fair skin tone whiter than it already was.

"Oh, hmm, yep, I wanna buy flowers of course."

"Nak beli bunga apa, bang."

At least he knew what kind of flowers he needed to get.

"Lili. Ada kan, bunga lili putih."

"Ada, ni ada. Abang nak berapa, macam mana?" as the lady led him to the lilies arranged for display in front of the shop.

"Saya pun tak tau sebenarnya. Berapa satu bunga ni?" Danny was hoping to get the lady's assistance on this matter. I know shit about this kind of stuff man, he kept saying that. He knew he could get flowers at cheaper price if he bought it straight from the shop.

"Okay bang, satu kuntum bunga ni RM9. Tapi kalau buat bouquet lagi lawa, bang. Abang nak besar ke long bouquet?" the lady trying to close the sale, asking Danny that close ended question. Even though Danny was just a rookie insurance agent at that time, he knew the game she played and even though he felt like he was being reeled in, he did not yield.

"Hmm apa long bouquet, besar ni? Berapa pulak? Lagi murah saya beli satu-satu. Beli 6 lili ke, 10 ke. Kan?" Good objection but he shouldn't have asked her back with that "Kan?" She jumped in excitedly to handle his concern.

"Abang, bouquet nampak lagi lawa, saya boleh letak bunga-bunga kecil yang lain, daun sikit. Baru nampak penuh. Long bouquet macam ni bang, jom ikut saya. Besar punya pon ada."

Danny was sold after she showed him how long and big bouquet looked like. Considering the event he was going afterwards, he thought a long bouquet would be suitable.

"Okay lah, saya ambik long bouquet, 3 lili cukup la. Berapa ye?"

"Hmm, kejap ye bang. Boss!" she asked the boss, before replying with a "RM 54 je bang."

"Damn cheap, though only 3 lilies. Well, that'll do.." Danny giving himself a good pat at the back.

"Okay. Boleh."

Danny followed the lady to a table near the gift wrapper.

"Warna apa bang, kertas untuk bunga ni."

"Haa?? Err...putih?"

"Ish, abang ni. Putih pergi funeral lah! Saya ambik warna ni, purple. Okay?"

"Ha, yelah, putih untuk orang mati. Ha ha =__=" Okay boleh, boleh, purple's good." Danny felt like hiding now. He totally failed when it comes to colours and all these gift presentations.

"Hahaha, abang ni lucu. Beli untuk siapa ni bang, girlfriend ye?" she asked while expertly navigating her fingers to fold the papers, cutting the little flowers to arrange the bouquet.

Danny, not wanting to explain himself, and his action of buying flowers, replied with a "Ha'ah." with a stupid grin on his face.

"Sweet betul abang ni. Jarang la lelaki nak datang beli bunga. Beli untuk emak pun takde."

Feeling flattered, Danny tried to not make it obvious. "I wish she were my girlfriend la, lady." Danny said to himself.

"Awak takkan tak pernah dapat bunga?"

"Tak pernah la bang."

"Ooo..."

"Sebab tu saya cakap abang ni sweet. Sweet sangat."

"Hahaha"

"Saya sekarang, kalau bagi bunga saya tak nak la."

"Ye lah, awak dah kerja kat kedai bunga. Mesti dah jemu tengok bunga hari-hari. Hahahah"

"Hahaha, tu lah bang. Satu lagi, saya lagi suka duit dari bunga. Sebab tu lah kerja hari-hari."

"Betul juga..awak dari mana? Sabah?"

"Ish, abang ni. Saya dari Indonesia. Medan. Mana ada bunyi Sabah."

"Elok je awak cakap, takde bunyi telor Indo. Macam orang Sabah ada lah."

"Ada ke orang Sabah cakap macam ni. Saya ada telor nya Indo, saya control la, bang. Hahaha."

"Ooo...namanya siapa?"

"Sari, bang... Nah bunganya sudah siap. Bertuah girlfriend abang, ya." Sari handed the bouquet to Danny with a smile.

"Terima kasih, Sari. Nah, duit. Bakinya, kamu simpan saja. Kamu suka duit, bukan? Jangan bagitahu bos kamu pula."

Sari, surprised with the kind gesture, smiled back at Danny.

"Terima kasih ya, bang."

"Sama-sama."

"Datang lagi."

Danny just smiled, "We'll see."

The modest Rose puts forth a thorn,
The humble sheep a threat’ning horn:
While the Lily white shall in love delight,
Nor a thorn nor a threat stain her beauty bright.

-William Blake-







Sunday, October 25, 2015

Posting Drafts When You Got Writer's Block - 1

Sejak kebelakangan ni, aku memang punya kesulitan untuk menulis baik dalam bahasa Melayu/Malaysia ataupun Inggeris itu sendiri. Aku kira, ini ada kaitan dengan kealpaan, lantas menjurus kepada kemalasan aku membuat ulangkaji bahasa Perancis di Duolingo. Menulis mukadimah ini pun sudah makan masa hampir sejam. Dan aku harus lekas untuk kerja jam 11pagi nanti.

Oh ya, ini iklan tidak berbayar. Gunakan Duolingo untuk mempelajari bahasa-bahasa Eropah. Aku sekarang menanti tiba hari Duolingo mengajarku bahasa Mandarin, Kantonis, Korea dan Arab. Atau mungkin lebih afdhal untuk aku membuat app mengajar bahasa Melayu/Malaysia. Bahan pembelajaran sedia ada sekarang hanya banyak untuk bahasa Indonesia. Telornya lain, kosa katanya juga begitu.

Hmmm....

Web version. Started off as an app. 

Anyway, my draftkens. Join moi!



Why are you so upset, man? If anything you should be at least, pleased.
W

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"I think I know why I'm destined to be single, and unmarried."
"Why?"
"Because I live and feed on my partner's existence."
"Meaning you suck their blood like vampires?"
"Ha-Ha-Ha, so farnie...."
"My bad"
"It's like this, yeah. I want to be in a relationship or settle down with someone eventually not because I want to love. I just don't want to end up dying, all alone, in some old folks home, with no kids of my own to care and tend to me."
"Yeaa....so? What's wrong with wanting that?"
"Isn't it kinda selfish? I want all that for my sake. Not to leave a better human being behind, or my legacy. Or to make the world a better place."
"Hahaha, typical you. Always being hard on yourself, extra harsh.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shitface like this always gets on my nerve. Why? They got no balls, spineless, spoiled brat who wants and have desires but will whine, cry and complain every time things go south.
"Macam mana bro...

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Too Late to Apologise

She found it hard to believe. The very woman she looked up to as a kid, a little girl was a fake after all these years. It was all just, facade.

"I can't believe it, babe, that me mom is like that. She acted all lovey dovey with my dad all these years. And now, this shit?" she let it all out again, for the umpteenth time to her bestie, Elle.

"You sure about this, Jessi? It could be a misunderstanding. Maybe the name, texts you read on her phone might have been just a misunderstanding?" Elle tried to reason it out on behalf of her friend's mother. Not that she wanted to but just to cool Jessi down.

"Oh, yeah. It could have been some secret codes between my mom and her friends, eh? Or she could be a lesbo, which still isn't any better!"

"Yep, case closed." Elle gave up. She figured it would be better off to just shut her trap and be there for Jessi. Let the lass vent, flush it all out of her system.


"Funny, huh? What's the point of getting married, falling head over heels when long down the road, you're gonna end up being a whore-"

"Watch what you say, Jessi! She's still your mother!"

"Oh, just because I am Asian doesn't mean I can't say shit I want, Elle! This is Australia, okay, babe?"

And with that, Jessi just stormed out of her own room after grabbing her jumper, headed to Woolies.


Halfway through. Jessi felt bad about treating her best friend that way, thought of going back to Elle to apologise...


....when all of a sudden, she got jumped on and mauled to death by the notorious Australian drop bear.




Saturday, October 10, 2015

The Call(s)

"Late at night, when I was deep in my slumber, the phone rang.
I woke up to my ringing phone.
Answered the call from a place I used to call home.
Hearing that dreaded tone,
Got my heart shredded, torn."



"Hello. Hmm, yes. Uhuh. Yes. Hmm..Okay. Okay. Okay................hmm.....Okay....Okay..." his only response to the late night caller. Was it work, or family?

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. Bye." he hung up.

"It's neither, no big deal. Let's go to sleep."

Well, it wouldn't have been a big deal if the call was during the day..but it was at night. A very late night.

"Just so that tomorrow I will remember to do it."

If you say so.

"Good night."

Good night.



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