Friday, August 8, 2014

Kata sahabat, aku sedang berdepan dengan Guru Pertanyaan. Sudah suratan.

celaru rasa. walau aku sedar semua ni dah diaturkan oleh Tuhan, aku tetap rasa celaru, kasihan. Salah ke rasa macam ni?

celaru aku, ikut bahasa Inggeris aku, mixed emotions. Aku tak rasa keyakinan aku goyah. Apa yang buat aku rasa begini mungkin kerana aku ada banyak persoalan tak terjawab..atau pon dijawab. rasa macam masa aku kecil, comel bulat dulu-dulu. curiosity aku yang diterjemahkan ke dalam soalan-soalan yang tak pernah putus. 

cerita yang geli hati dari masa lepas. aku asyik ikut Wan di kampung, bertanya 
"Wan buat apa tu?" 
"Kenapa Wan buat macam tu?"
"Ada harimau ke kat kampung?"

mengikut ceritanya dari mulut ayah aku. mustahil aku boleh ingat semua itu. apa yang berlaku tahun lepas pun samar-samar.

mungkin, aku bukan celaru, sebab banyak persoalan tak terjawab. mungkin, aku berasa marah dengan diri aku yang takut. Atau aku menyesal. 

Tapi sesal aku ini, (kalau betullah rasa ini rasa menyesal) setidak-tidaknya tidaklah tidak berguna. 

Mana boleh semua yang berlaku di dunia ini tidak berguna. Itu aku percaya sampai bila-bila. Kerana apa yang aku lihat tak sama seperti dengan yang aku lihat dulu. 

And for that, I thank You.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Puisi Mentah Putus Hati

Expressing myself in poetry, not really my forte. But reading this piece I made few months after my first heart break is kinda funny. Maybe because I am so not used to writing poem and I am not that articulate and expressive. Be the judge, fellow readers of this blog.


...................................................................................................................................................................


Aku kira kamu tidak layak,
Untuk melayan aku begini,
Kerana kamu telah bersalah pada aku,
Mana mungkin mereka yang bersalah bisa berlaku begini,
Kalau kerana tiada rasa sesal,


Aku kira kamu tidak layak,
Untuk bergembira,
Meneruskan hidup,
Seolah-olah tiada jiwa terkorban,
Tiada hati terobek hancur,
Seolah-olah aku yang bersalah kerana masih di sini,
Sedangkan aku di sini kerana janji.

Aku kira kamu tidak layak,
Untuk ketemu jodohmu,
Kerana akhirannya,
Kamu tetap akan mensia-siakannya,
Hatta sebaik malaikat,
Sekacak Yusuf,
Sekaya Daud,
Kerana mana mungkin kamu tahu menghargai,
Seperti kera mendapat bunga.

Aku kira aku tidak layak,
Untuk mengatakan semua ini,
Sedang aku punya khilaf juga,
Tapi aku tahu,
Aku layak bahagia,
Tapi tidak kamu,
Itu kiraan aku.

Tutup kalam,
Tuhan bersama mu.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Long Holiday

Dah kalau dari hari Khamis kau cuti sampai Ahad, tak ke orang Kerteh kata, "long holiday"?

Balik-balik dari outstation, malam tu tengok JDT vs Sarawak. Memang penting amat perlawanan malam tu. JDT kena menang sama Sarawak, kalau tak, peluang kena tendang ke tempat ke-2 amat tinggi sebab hanya berbeza 1 mata.

Dah aku semangat tulis pasal Liga Super Malaysia apahal.

Apa-apa pun, selamat menjalani ibadah puasa pada bulan Ramadhan ini. "Pada" ye, bukan "di". Sebab 'di' menunjukkan tempat dan arah, manakala 'pada' digunakan untuk masa. Hahaha semangat aku jadi cikgu Bahasa Melayu.
Tengok sikit kerja ko ni buat apa sebenarnya...

Sepanjang aku di Johor Bahru ni, aku rasa aku dah boleh bawak diri la nak ke tempat-tempat yang jadi tumpuan orang, macam Aeon Tebrau ke, KSL Mall ke, Pelangi Mall ke, Century Garden ke, Straits View ke, Taman Molek ke, Permas Jaya ke, Skudai ke, Kempas ke, Sutera Mall ke, JPO ke..hehehe. Kalau ICQ tu korang boleh ikut papan tanda. Memang sampai la, persoalannya, cepat atau lambat sampai je lah.

Tapi kalau nak gi tempat yang telah dikecilkan skopnya, macam Jalan Dedap 3 kat Johor Jaya tu, kena pakai Waze atau ada member tunjukkan lah. Baru-baru ni, aku ada beli groupon deal untuk 2 kereta, RM35, 14 point car inspection and tyre service. Oklah, dapat free membership selama 1 tahun di TyreWorld, Johor Jaya ni. Tak pasti pulak aku sama

ada keahlian tu merangkumi TyreWorld kat KL atau tidak.

Apa-apa pun, sebelum Ramadhan baru-baru ni, (Rabu yang lalu) sempat aku makan durian kat Muar. Kata member aku yang sorang ni yang mana beliau merupakan anak jati Muor (LOL) tepi-tepi jalan ke arah Tangkak biasanya banyak dan sedap. Kalau tak ke situ, Bukit Pasir pon boleh. Jadinya aku dan member kerja aku ni ke Bukit Pasir.
Kata orang, nak tahu sedap tak sedap durian tu, tengok kualiti produk lepas makan aka sendawa. Kalau busuk tu sedap la durian tadi tu. (sila jangan percaya)

Sedap juga lama tak melahap Musang King. Aku tak tahu harga market berapa sekarang tapi diorang offer RM30/kg. Katanya, biasa RM40 lebih/kg....katenye....

Ye...dah ko kenapa blogging pasal makan durian pada hari pertama berpuasa ni....

Selamat berproduktif lebih daripada biasa!

heheheehe

Thursday, June 26, 2014

It's A Holiday Because JDT Won The Malaysia Super League. I watched it...at home.

Aku dah lama tak membaca. Jadi aku ada rasa karat dekat kepala otak aku ni dan ye aku faham yang otak aku bukanlah sebuah mesin yang dibuat daripada logam-logam nadir dan wayar berselirat jadi mana mungkin ia berkarat. Adapun karatnya otak aku itu terletak bukanlah pada zahirnya otak itu tetapi lebih kepada keupayaan otak aku itu.

Aku dah lama tak bersenam. Jadi aku rasa cepat penat, tak bertenaga, lembik sebab penuh dengan lemak. Aku pun tak tahu adakah sudah banyak otot aku yang kembali mengecil dan tempatnya itu diambil oleh lemak yang datang daripada lebihan gula yang tidak digunakan oleh badan aku, yang asalnya dari nasi-nasi yang terpaksa aku makan (alasan sahaja, walhal aku mampu berkata "Alhamdulillah, cukup dah tu" kepada tuan rumah).

Aku dah lama tak bercakap. Jadi aku rasa sedikit teruja bila terjumpa orang yang punya "common ground" yang sama. Tapi masakan boleh engkau luahkan segala terbuku pabila berjumpa dengan orang baru. Berilah ia masa agar minat itu sama dipupuk.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Things We Take For Granted

Baru-baru ni, terjadi satu insiden dalam lembaran hidupku yang membuat aku terdiam sejenak sebelum berupaya melafazkan kata-kata syukur. (perghh, skema tak ayat ini? =P)

I was thinking, how different my life would have been if one of the many things that have been in my life, was not there to begin with?

So, bear with me y'all.

I was driving to my bro's home in Balakong, and fuel is running low so being the skema (adik-adik, skema ni perkataan bahasa Malaysia, jadinya jangan guna perkataan ini dalam karangan bahasa Inggeris ya) person I am, I made a stop at the Shell gas station next to the Nouvelle Hotel, the one located alongside the PLUS highway. All done, I started my engine. Hmmm, just some cranking sounds. Let's try again. Okay, one more time. "Repeat steps 3 more times." Aaaaand, no more sound made when I turned they key.

Couldn't be the battery la. I just changed it last Raya 2013, which in case you don't remember when was it, it was in August. Nope, not battery. So, what now? I did ask help from such a very helpful Shell staff (no, this is not sarcasm, I truly mean it!) who helped me jump my car battery but still couldn't start the car. I really have limited knowledge when it comes to car breakdown than my other fellow men do that I could only think of one thing. Abah.

And sure it was such a relief to have called him. Though at the end of that unsuspecting night, I had to leave my car there and thanks to my homey Faizal who went all the way from Seri Jati to where I was to help me jump the car battery one more time (which of course failed to resolve the issue) and drove me to my bro's place. My brother was asleep di, I didn't want to kacau him lah...though my mom did wake him up. Hahaha sorry bro.

The next morning, my dad called me and told me to use my car insurance towing service, since it is free. My dad had been asking his mechanic friend whom we fondly call Ah Tiew, who happened to have a friend in Balakong, that runs his own spare part business, Wong. So, this Wong called me and asked me to bring my car to his friend's workshop, just next to my bro's place in Taman Impian Ehsan. It was all good. The towing guy Nazren was a really friendly and helpful lad. Shared with me few things not to do when it comes to towing your car. Hahaha. And so was Wong. He didn't take the money I offered as a token of appreciation. "Tolong saje," he said.

Turned out, it was some wiring problem and not the starter which my dad and others suspected.

At the end of the day, I got to go to my HQ in Bangsar, did my deed, and drove back to JB and completed my task. Everyone was happy.

Konvo kat Sunway. Belajor jauh-jauh. 


I just couldn't help but think what would I do, if I didn't have this person I call Abah around in my life? My life would have been a bit different than it is now. I would have known some people at the area to help me out. Stayed at friend's house for the night. Worked different jobs. Maybe.

The point is, I am just glad that I have a father and a mother growing up. I never knew how much I took these two blessings for granted all these years. I don't really say with words how I feel about them sometimes because other than ego, I just feel that words can't do all these feelings I have justice. Maybe it's my fault also lah for not reading so many books to enrich my vocabulary or participate in theatre so that I am able to express my feelings better.

Or for not even trying with words.

My only option is to do it with actions.






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