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Monday, July 11, 2016

Jahat

Usai solat, dia meneguk air mineral di sebelah katilnya. Lagaknya seperti orang yang mahu betul-betul mabuk, biar lupa segala hal isu masalah duniawi. Diteguknya air itu laju-laju hingga bunyi deguk itu semakin kuat dengan setiap tegukan. Mungkin juga deguk itu diharapnya untuk menenggelamkan suaranya sendiri yang sedang meratap pilu.

"Woii! Ingat kau turun bawah, tadi. Lama aku tunggu kat surau!" Wang, budak Muar memekik, dan sambil-sambil itu mengetuk pintu bilknya dengan kuat.

"Sorry bro. Rasa lemau sikit badan ni." balas Lukman, perlahan.

Wang sekadar mengangguk lemak, mengkontradiksi perlakuannya sebelum ini. Mungkin dia memahami apa Lukman lalui. Mungkin juga dia buntu. Atau boleh jadi dia sudah malas dan jelek dengan perangai teman rumahnya itu. Masakan tidak, cerita sudah dua bulan berlalu dan Lukman masih lagi di situ, harfiahnya. Tidak keluar rumah bersosial sekalipun.

"Haa, ni aku ada bungkus tosai telur ko. Mana tau pagi ni ko nak cheat meal breakfast ke. Aku tengok oats, buah-buah ko pon dah habis. Aku pulak nak keluar juga gi pasar tani Shah Alam. Saja jalan-jalan. Nak ikut tak?"

Lama Lukman berfikir, sebelum menjawab, "Hmm bolehlah. Rasa macam lama tak keluar rumah." yang betul-betul mengejutkan Wang, tapi Wang berasa girang, sekurang-kurangnya Lukman mahu mengikutnya keluar daripada terperuk lagi mensia-siakan sisa hujung minggu itu.


Di pasar tani Shah Alam itu, seperti biasa, manusia berbondong-bondong menjalani urusan harian masing-masing. Penjaja, peniaga, penghibur jalanan, juga insan-insan istimewa yang cuba mencari rezeki halal dengan kudrat izinNya ilahi. Melihatkan semua itu untuk sekian lamanya, membuatkan Lukman terfikir sesuatu.

"Jahat..."

"Apa dia?"

"Tak, cuma aku rasa kat pasar tani ni, ramai jugak manusia jahat."

"Maksud kau?"

"Tak semua mahu kasi duit dekat pakcik dan makcik yang berselawat, menyanyi qasidah di sana.", Lukman menuding ke arah sepasang suami isteri yang cacat penglihatan mereka.

"Semua orang kan ada sebab masing-masing. Lek ah, bro."

"Mungkin. Tapi tu tak bermaksud diorang semua tak jahat hanya kerana mereka punya sebab tersendiri, yang bersifat peribadi."

Pada saat itu, Wang tahu dia memang harus, kena, patut, mencelah dan menarik Lukman semula.

"Man, ada ke orang yang tak 'jahat', tak buat hatta satu 'kejahatan' sekalipun? Aku berani potong jari, kau takkan jumpa punya lah. Sedangkan bayi yang baru lahir itu pun, kalau mengikut definisi pukul rata kau, 'jahat'. Okay, ataupun, ibu bapanya itu yang jahat. Silap, cross that, si suami yang jahat, cuma melampiaskan benih ke dalam isteri. Yang menanggung semua sakit selama 9 bulan, siapa? Si isteri. Dan si kandungan yang menjadi bayi, ya, itu pun jahat lah."

Ni gambaq pasar ramadhan, diculik dari sixthseal 


Lukman tersentak, "Wahh, takdelah sampai ke situ. Aku cuma terfikir jahat je tadi..."

"Sorry bro, aku cuma tak nak kau putus harapan untuk hidup. Tolonglah, kita ni jauh lagi perjalanan, insya Allah, takkan nak buang masa, statik tak bergerak-gerak!" Wang menyuarakan isi hati terpendam selama sebulan lebih.

"Terima kasih, Wang. Aku rasa bertuah ada kawan 'jahat' macam kau, ajak aku keluar pagi-pagi ni. Hehehehe..."

Wang sedikit terpegun, mungkin juga mengagumi dengan penuh hairan, bagaimana dapat Lukman berubah begitu cepat.

"Kau okay, Man?"

"Aku rasa aku dah okay, Wang. Lama sangat bertapa dalam rumah. Hari ni aku rasa betullah."

"Apa yang betul Man?"

"Hahahaha!!" Lukman tertawa melihat bingung riak muka sahabatnya itu lalu terus melabukan punggung di pondok berdekatan tandas awam itu.

"Aku asyik menyalahkan Mar sejak dia bilang sama aku yang dia tak boleh menerima pinangan aku, hati dan perasaan aku. Aku menjerit dalam hati aku, yang dia ni jahat! Ya, jahat Mar merobek koyak hati aku setelah aku dengan tertib sopan memberitahu isi hati ini untuk memperisterikannya. Aku ingat selama kami berkawan, mungkin dia senang dengan aku. Tapi dia jahat, menolak pinanganku, atas alasan peribadi, mahu mengejar cita-citanya. Aku kasi tau, aku boleh sokong cita-citanya itu. Tapi tetap ditolaknya. Kalau dia Mar menghambur kata makian kepada aku, lagi boleh aku terima daripada senyuman tawarnya, seolah-olah dia yang kesakitan."

Wang dan Lukman bergambar di Zoo Melbourne.(bukan Wang dan Luman ROFLMAO)


Lukman berhenti seketika, mengambil nafas, dan meneruskan,

"Tapi, bukankah dia harus menjadi 'jahat' untuk dia bahagia, pada saat aku mengajaknya menjadi tunangan aku? Takkan Mar harus menerima hatiku, sedangkan dia tahu, dia takkan rasa bahagia, seronok.
Juga, kalau difikirkan, akulah jahat yang paling jahat, antara aku dan Mar. Aku juga jahat, mahu bahagia aku, sebab itu aku memutuskan untuk meminang Mar. Aku kira, kalau Mar dapat aku peristerikan, bahagialah hidupku. Ya, akulah yang jahat itu. Jahat paling besar. Kerana hanya dengan menjadi jahat, baru kita semua dapat bahagia yang dicari. Atau sekurang-kurangnya, makna hidup itu."

Wang tergamam sebentar, langsung tidak menduga semua ini daripada Lukman. Lukman yang sudah berapa lama tidak berucap panjang begini.

"Aku juga jahat, kerana langsung tidak mengambil kira bersalahnya Mar saat dia terpaksa menjadi jahat. Aku yang jahat besar, sebab menjadikan Mar jahat. Wang, yang jahat itu bukannya apa yang Mar lakukan pada aku, juga bukan Mar sendiri. Yang jahat itu, aku."


Wang dan Lukman diam di situ, sebelum Lukman memecah hening janggal,

"Boleh tahan baik juga kan aku tukar sikit ayat dari Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 2 tu, kan, kan?"


Mereka berdua ketawa terbahak-bahak sebelum bingkas bangun, menyambung urusan di pasar tani. Mungkin, harus berlaku 'jahat' sekali dua sebelum selesai semuanya di situ.




Sunday, July 10, 2016

P.B.

"I prefer the cold steel piercing my heart before my head decapitated, rather than picograms of arsenic in my iced tea. By the way, that is how I like my tea, iced."

Panjang lebar Akmal menyatakan keinginannya itu kepada PB. PB, ya, ialah seorang yang akan menjalankan permintaan setiap pelanggannya. Perusahaan yang dijalankan PB ialah memastikan perjalanan pelanggannya seperti yang dipinta mereka.

"You'd like it that I see you in your eyes as your life spirits away? Or would you rather not see anyone, any face in your last moment?"

",,,,Why do you think I came to you for all this, huh? "

"Sorry, I don't need the reasons. I don't want your WHY, I just need your HOW. So, let's do this again, one more time, You want my face to be the last thing you see, or not? "

"Fine. If I tell you I want it to be someone else, someone who's already dead, maybe, could you even pull that off? Huh??"

"できます"

"Huh?"

"I mean, I can. So, all is done, Details are as follow:

Date: 10th September 20xx
Time: 9:30am
Place: Client's place
Method: Savage + Mystique (tbc)


I will contact you the way we've been doing it 24 hours before the time set. Be ready."


"You sure, you won't mess this up?"

"Not for me to say." PB berhenti seketika sebelum memberikan pandangan matanya yang berkata, dia tidak pernah tersalah langkah.
"You'll hear from me in a week ttime."


Berlalu pergi PB dari kerusi itu. Akmal termenung memikirkan masa yang kian suntuk. Dilihatnya jam tangannya, baru pukul 5:09 petang.

"Bastard costs me a fortune and only sat down with his client for not even 5 minutes? Tch!"


KIL

ps: I decided to put bit by bit the stories I wrote. Mampuih pi la ada orang suka ke tak. Bila aku tiada, kalian boleh baca HAHAHAAHAH

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Draftkens Released - Take A Chance On Me

"You like me, then?"

"No, it's not as simple as that."

"Are you playing me? Calling me out to the park in this cold night? What if old lady Claudia saw us?- "

"Let me finish. I don't just like you. In fact, I believe that phrase doesn't do justice to what I'm feeling. I have feelings for you."

"......"

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm being pulled towards you, as if you're my centre of gravitational point. I feel obliged to know your wherabouts. Have you settled down well at your new place with your grandma? Is there any broken lightbulb that needs to be changed?

I worry for you. I'm scared for you too.

That's why I just find myself caring for you. You think why would I be asking you everyday then? If you're okay whenever I see your sad posts on Tumblr? If you've eaten? If you've had enough sleep?"


"And I'm even happy for you, even that means I won't be the one that you deserve and choose at the end. I did that once when you ex-boyfriend came back in your life. But, I know now that I shouldn't have done that. So, here I am now, telling you this, Jinju ya, go out with me. I know, I don't make much as a tutor at the campus but at least I know I won't be a condescending jerk who takes you for granted. I know, I know, how I spout all that "men only know how to say shit, and how they sweet talk their ways around women" but this one time, let me prove myself and you, that there is one man who is not all that..."

"-I, I-"

"Take a chance on me, Jinju."


-March 2016-

And Taylor went on to sing and dance to Frankie J's Take A Chance On Me....







And it's not even a marriage proposal ROFLMAO


ps: Another draft I started writing after I got hooked watching KBS's Five Enough. Maybe I'll talk more about this drama next time. The ending part where the guy sings and dances to Frankie J's Take A Chance on Me is just something I came up just now. I can't sleep. Hahaha bugger me and my overthinking personality. =__=

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Raya Post - 2016

I think it's a blessing in disguise that my scheduled posts didn't auto-publish themselves. While figuring out things to do, I'll just do another post, random post. Yeah typical blog stuff; "My Trip to Timbuktu", "What I Did Over the Weekend with my Boyfriend", "Happy 25th Birthday, Me!"-kinda posts.

It will be raya tomorrow. How time flies. Even with that knowledge, I still find myself not doing things that matter, things that are important to me. Well, at least that was how I felt the past few months.

I can't emphasise enough how grateful I am to be blogging again. It's been part of me for the last 10 years and I really believe I should never abandon it. Quoting a friend, it's the only thing that I have been consistently doing. I'm not sure if I can say I'm good at it, because being good in blogging is pretty much equal to traffic to your blog LOL

So, I just posted an unfinished work lol on words left unsaid. I got to start writing about it watching movies, series, reading stories long and short, where there would be one or two characters depicted as not the honest kind when it comes to their feelings.

This brings me to this unfinished work about unsaid words, a rather appropriate way to go about this.

Okay I was gonna add more but I don't want to be the kind of person who gets stuck to screen od mobile phone when others are socialising. Hahaha
Selamat hari raya!!

Draftken - unsaid words (unfinished)

There's something about unsaid words, kept hidden, away from the mind, locked and sealed for it shall lie, at deepest floor of the heart.

Even at its dormant form, the most benign of all, words left unsaid are feared. They are volatile, fighting to be released. They beg, to be freed so they will reach to the intended destination.

Little did the words know, they could have devastating effects. Those words may appear to be harmless, yet they are camouflaged madmen went berserk, who ran amok.



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