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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Trying Hard Not To Be Sleepy

Thought of sharing my thoughts on few stuff. Not serious stuff but kinda important...to me at least =P But I'm not sure if people read that kind of thing at night. So, maybe funny stories? LOL yeah let's laugh! We may not agree on few or a lot or many or all things, but we should laugh if we find something funny no? =P

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A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city.

He’s slamming tequila left and right. he grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out.

The guy who was sitting next to him couldn’t believe that the guy had just done that.

He was more surprised when, ten minutes later, the same guy, unscathed, comes walking back into the bar and sits back down next to him.

The astonished guy asks,” How did you do that???? I just saw you jump out that window and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!!!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.”

He takes a shot, slams it down, goes tot the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls until right before the ground, slows down and lands softly on his feet.

A few minutes later, the guy walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it too, so he orders a shot of tequila. he drinks it and goes to the window and jumps.

As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all….SPLAT!!!!!!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila and the bartender says to him,” You’re really an jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”

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Two old friends meet passing on the street one day. But one looked forlorn, and almost on the verge of tears. His friend asked, ‘What had the world done to you, my old friend?’

The sad fellow said, ‘Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars.’

‘That’s not bad.’

‘But you see, two weeks ago, a cousin I never even knew kicked the bucket, and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear.’

‘Sounds like you should be grateful…’

‘You don’t understand!’ he interrupted. ‘Last week my great-aunt passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a million.’

Now he was really confused. ‘Then, how come you look so glum?’

'This week… nothing!'

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A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

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A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells “PIG!!!”

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, “BITCH!!!”

They each continue on their way, and ….. as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ….. and dies immediately.

If only men would listen.

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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

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A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine’s Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?”

With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.” That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife.

With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled – “The Meaning of Dreams”.

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Hope you guys had a good laugh. Hehehehe.




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