Langkau ke kandungan utama

Dumb Smart People

Hahaha I'm taking a break again from my studying. Check out this dumb and funny court records I came across while stumbling LOL =P

You know how they say a lawyer must know how to twist, play with words ? LOL I guess too much twisting gets the better of these lawyers!


  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."

  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.


  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."


  • Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
  • Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
  • Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
  • Witness: "My name is Susan."

  • Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  • Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  • Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  • Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

  • Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

  • Lawyer: "What happened then?"
  • Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
  • Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
  • Witness: "No."

  • Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
  • Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

  • Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

  • Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"

  • Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

  • Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"

  • Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
  • Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

  • Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
  • Witness: "That's me."
  • Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

  • Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

  • Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
  • Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
  • Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"


Hahaha okay, the last few lines are really funny to me, so get ready for it! XD



  • Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
  • Witness: "None."
  • Lawyer: "Were there girls?"

  • Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

  • Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
  • Witness: "Not yet."

  • Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
  • Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
  • Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"

  • Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
  • Witness: "Borofkin."
  • Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
  • Witness: "I can't remember."
  • Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
  • Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"

  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
  • Witness: "No."

  • Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
  • Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."

  • Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
  • Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
  • Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
  • Witness: "Attached to the ears."

  • Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
  • Witness: "Oral."
  • Lawyer: "How old are you?"
  • Witness: "Oral."

  • Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"

  • Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
  • Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
  • Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"

  • Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
  • Witness: "The victim lived."



Just for fun and laugh okay, no harm meant for the lawyers or law students. =)

hehehehe

Ulasan

Hey Theeggyolks! I'm hungry now! ROAR! hahaha =P thanks for coming to my blog. =D
Did you LOL first before you faint, or you LOL while you were about to faint? =P

Catatan popular daripada blog ini

cuti cuti malaysia (penang, johor bahru, singapore, melaka)

We start with... Penang!!! 5 hours after I reached Penang, I was busy helping my dad cleaning up the lawn. hehehehe..good boy! =P Later, me and my parents had nasi kandaq! Quite a heavy meal for breakfast, I know but thats pretty common in Penang, regardless of your colour skin. If you are a Penangite, you cant care less if its heavy or not. What you know is the food is gonna last you until lunch hour for another round of nasi kandaq or maybe some other meals.. The boys, back then it was still school holidays..thats why they only wake up aroun 9 -11 am... lazybums.. In JB..well..nothing much in JB I think..prefer Penang..hehehe no offence JB folks! =P Where is this again..Angsana Mall? UO? I don't remember.. In Singapore..was quite okay actually, only that, because we had Apish crying for us to carry him instead of him walking..it was a pretty tiring day... Arab St. I think... I think this bar/cafe/restaurant looks cool The masjid there The Family We just went where out feet taking

Reconnect: My Journey Back to Blogging

 Hello, fellow travel enthusiasts and friends of Malaysian adventures! It's been an incredible journey, one that saw me take an unexpected hiatus from blogging for more than three years. Life happened (more like COVID happened) —responsibilities, changes, and personal growth—but one thing remained constant: my love for exploring the beauty and diversity of Malaysia. With power to put Dillan on my back, comes great responsibility! Today, I'm excited to announce my return to the world of  blogging. It's a bit like revisiting an old friend and reminiscing about unforgettable experiences. As I dust off my keyboard and sift through the memories of past travels, I can't wait to reconnect with all of you and share new adventures. Reflecting on the Past During my hiatus, I took the time to recharge, reflect, and embark on new journeys, both physically and emotionally. I've explored different aspects of life, including my passion for raising awareness about autism, delved de

Hang Tuah The Animation?

Woah, woah! Read this at beautifulnara about a three way agreements signed by Japanese anime studio Gonzo (Blood: The Last Vampire), Malaysian animation studio Funcel and Malaysia's National Film Development Corporation to produce Hang Tuah the animation! The protagonists....maybe? The antagonists...look so.. It sounds cool to me at first but I am being a bit skeptic about having non Malaysians to make an anime out of this legendary warriors, Hang Tuah and his friends. What more, I wonder are the voice actors gonna be Japanese too? I remember watching Silat Lagenda. That was awesome for our technology that time. But I think I shouldn't be all negative about Gonzo studio animating Hang Tuah because it's a collaboration....I think? Well, you guys can read more here and here . hehehehe