Monday, May 24, 2010

Let's Cry

I'm not that computer savvy but at least I know what OS my laptop is running on. And that Firefox is not an OS. LOL

For my work-study job, I work tech support at a small college. One night I was working Help Desk and the phone rings. I pick it up to have a student telling me she can't get the computer to work.
  • Me: "What operating system are you running?"
  • Student: "Hunh?"
  • Me: "Do you have a Mac or a PC?"
  • Student: "Um, I don't know."
  • Me: "Ok. What does the screen look like?"
  • Student: "It's yellow."
  • Me: "Ok. What does it say on the computer CPU?"
  • Student: "What's that?"
  • Me: "The big grey box."
  • Student: "It doesn't say anything."
  • Me: "Never mind you have a little 'Start' button at the bottom of the monitor?"
  • Student: "Monitor?"
  • Me: "The thing that looks like a TV sceen sitting on the grey box."
  • Student: "Oh! That! No. No start button."
  • Me: "Ok. Is there a little apple symbol anywhere on the screen?"
  • Student: (very puzzled) "Why would I have fruit on my computer?"
  • Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
  • Customer: "A computer."
A girl walked into the computer center where I work. She said she was having problems with her Mac. I asked what kind of Mac she had. In an indignant voice, she replied, "Duh, Intosh."
  • Friend: "I heard about this thing called 'Linux'."
  • Me: "Oh, I use Linux."
  • Friend: "What is it?"
  • Me: "An operating system."
  • Friend: "Like Firefox?"
  • Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
  • Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
  • Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
Customer: (angrily) "You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?"

A customer called in with modem problems.

  • Tech Support: "Ok, we're going to check your modem settings. First thing we need to do is make sure all programs are closed."
  • Customer: "How do I know if everything is closed?"
  • Me: "Make sure all windows are closed."
  • Customer: "But...I'm in the basement. I don't have any windows here."

Lucky me, I made it to the the mute button in time!

  • Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
  • Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not."
  • Tech Support: "What program is it?"
  • Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
  • Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
  • Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."
About two months ago, a client called in screaming profanities at me and demanding that I either give him a refund on his one year old system or send a technician out to repair it immediately. His problem was that the taskbar was on the right-hand side of his screen, and he couldn't get it back to the bottom.
And the final round! LOL

In what seems more and more like another life, some 15 years ago, I was an assistant in a computer lab belonging to the computer science department of my university. The lab consisted of a bunch of 286 IBM PS/2s with only a 3.5" floppy drive -- they had to boot with an operating system disk and then put in the program disk, and so forth.

One day a student was having problems booting up the computer. I went to see what was happening, because she was becoming increasingly vocal about the quality of the hardware and the incompetence of the people (me) who were supposed to maintain it. I found that she was trying to boot off a floppy with no operating system. So I tried to tell her that she needed a DOS diskette to boot the computer.

  • Her: "Why?"
  • Me: "Well, because without the operating system the computer just cannot work."
  • Her: "But I don't need the operating system."
  • Me: "I assure you, you do."
  • Her: "No, you don't understand, I've already passed the operating systems exam. I'm preparing the coursework for simulation theory, so I don't need an operating system. I already passed. Really."
  • Me: "I'm not talking about the exam. I am talking about the operating system for the computer."
  • Her: "Why on earth should I want to put an operating system on the computer when I have already passed the exam? I need to study simulation theory, not operating systems! The arrogance! Now you want to tell me what I should study? You don't think I passed the exam on my merits alone? Huh?"

She stormed out of the lab and filed a formal complaint with the department's secretary. The worst part was that I got reprimanded, because, apparently, the senior management didn't know any better than she did. Yes, she graduated a couple of years later.

credit to [computer stupidities]

All these must have taken place ages ago. I doubt a lot of people still don't know stuff like this. Though this reminds me of the time when Bluetooth tecnology was first introduced, and Wi-fi.

You know how sometimes some kopitiams, shops, restaurants offer free wifi? My bro told me of this funny story that happened in K.Terengganu some times ago. His friend runs a kopitiam and happens to provide free wifi to customers. So, there is this sign saying "Free WiFi".

One day, got this guy came to the shop and had something to eat there. Upon paying the bill, he asked my bro's friend, "Doh tu, mana wifi ('wifi', not 'waifai') nye? Kate free?"(where's the 'wifi'(not 'waifai')? I thought got free one?)

One word - funny as. Oh that's two words =P


nubab said...

LOL!!ad jgak cter kawe.. =D

JaJa'Z said...

keh keh keh..lawak bleh diterima pakai..danial kena tag..tgk kat blog akak ok..

Danial Ikhwan Jaafar said...

hahaha dib, lawak ah dingdong cerita tu! ROFLMAO!

ok kak ja, bisa diatur! ;)

kenwooi said...

haha.. nice funny conversations =P

Danial Ikhwan Jaafar said...

funny indeed! XP

afzainizam said...

” Salam dihulur salam sejahtera,
Pemanis kata pembuka bicara;
Dari Blog kami bercerita,
Untuk tatapan sahabat semua”

Salam lama betul tak ziarah cozz ade buzzy sikit lah maaf ye lambat sampai blog kamu ye…

kamu klakar lah rupanya.... bila baca dialog tu....

Kelvin said...

Hahahahahahaha, laugh until stomache XD

Danial Ikhwan Jaafar said...

halo afazainizam. takpe, terima kasih la sebab dapat jugak luangkan masa ke blog ni. =D

hey kelvin, good exercise for abs you know! hahahha XP

nebular said...

Drop by n thanks for your last visit, following your blog too.

Danial Ikhwan Jaafar said...

hey thanks nebular! =D


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