Last Thursday night at the masjid, while waiting for Isyak I saw this one old man in a purple baju melayu. He was wondering around, looking at other people. His behavior got me interested in him so I decided to watch what he was up to.
He just stood at one corner, looking at the kids playing, and after a while he went back to the front saf, sitting very near to a group of jemaah talking among themselves. I thought that was all, he would just stay quietly and wait for the azan. But then, he turned to the group next to him, and seemed as if he was trying to join in the conversation, only that he didn't say a word. He just listened and looked at those people in the group talking.
I don't know why, but I really don't like that feeling of looking at someone who seems to be lonely. Trying hard to be accepted in a group. I recalled back in high school, got a couple of really big sized/fat/chubby juniors and they always got teased and most of them got low self esteem just like me. Being big sized and all, make them easy targets for bullies, to be ridiculed, sometimes even by girls. (Maybe the girls were just playing around) So, I always seemed to care more about them or at least tried to not trouble them much, because I pitied them. I just hoped at that time that they would be strong.
Some of you might say, we were kids back then, don't take things too hard. Well, I never got bullied that bad but I know lowering someone's self esteem is not good. Can affect the rest of a person's life if that person can't stand up back.
Thinking about my time in the past, I'm glad I made it through, got to uni, and managed to lose lots of weight. It really made me feel good. hahaha. I guess I am pretty strong after all. Thank you God. =)